A story of Bert being a rip off of van wilder with a high pitched squeaking laugh is a movie that should never have been made. It is a painfully unfunny, cringeworthy and offensive attempt at comedy that fails on every level. The plot is nonexistent, the characters are stereotypes, the jokes are stale and the acting is atrocious. The only thing worse than watching this movie is listening to Bert's annoying laugh, which sounds like a dying mouse being tortured. This movie is an insult to the intelligence and taste of the audience, and a waste of time and money for everyone involved. I give it zero stars out of five and advise you to avoid it at all costs.<br/><br/>Bert should stick to doing 48 podcasts and continue to do his nauseating fake 20min whistle-squeal laugh.
The Machine
2023
Action / Comedy

The Machine
2023
Action / Comedy
Synopsis
Bert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.
Downloaded 200736 times
8/12/2023 10:13:21 AM
Director
Tech specs
1080P.WEB 1080P.WEB 2160P.WEB 1080P.BLU 720P.BLU 720P.WEBMovie Reviews
The movie itself was pretty funny for the most part. I would also agree that it was a little slow at times too. Burt performing on-stage is truly authentic and amazingly funny. For a 1st time actor, I thought he did really well. Some have rated this movie with low scores forgetting that this is a stand-up comedian acting in a major motion picture about his life and never experiencing the acting role before. If you hated this movie and decided to post negative remarks and ratings, I cannot relate. I have read some of these negative reviews and it is clear that some people believe that they themselves are Siskle & Ebert themselves. The movie is funny, was it the best comedy I have ever seen NO. But to bash a movie just because it wasn't your cup of tea is an insult to reviews as a whole. When I dislike something, I simply choose to remember the morales my mother and father taught me as a young child. I keep my opinions and negative thoughts to myself. Go see the movie, it's pretty funny.
Funny, action packed, and alllllll Bert. My theater and I laughed so much and truly enjoyed this movie. You can really see how much Bert enjoyed making this film and how much he wanted to make this movie an enjoyable experience for fans all over the world. The live stream prior to the showing was chaotic and unique. You don't see red carpets like that ever. Inclusive and welcoming to all of his fans. Having the opportunity to live stream provided his fan base the opportunity to be involved although they couldn't physically be there. If you don't like to laugh or hate joy. You'll hate this movie. If you want to have fun, have a good laugh, and can put harsh critics away..you'll enjoy this movie.
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