Well now, this really is a sad effort falling between the enviablestatus of an honest-to-god bad movie watchable for laughs and apassable horror flick. Joan Collins is an ex-stripper who is cursed bya horny dwalf (little people are in league with the devil presumably)and goes on to have a baby with her Italian husband. Now there are raretreats to be had in this film to give it its due. First of them isseeing Joan Collins performing an erotic dance at her strip club. I'venever actually been to such a club and its fairly obvious to the viewerthat Joan hasn't either. Her dance is so entirely unerotic and daft asto serve as a warning that what is to follow will be of the lowestpossible quality. Of course no strip club is complete without a sweatydwalf dressed as a jester or in a top hat. The dwalf in question rantsabout her having a baby by the devil and lo and behold she does have afreaky child. The only problem is that the baby shown is entirelynormal looking. All devilish action happening off screen and thencutting back to the decidedly unmenacing kid. Rosemarys baby and TheOmen both showed that kids can be quite scary. This film though decidesnot to give the child ungodly mental powers, or spiritual domination asits forte instead relying on it having immense physical strength.That's right, this little tyke will push you into lakes, scratch yourface etc. All of this is incredibly silly to start with but cuttingfrom Collins leaning into the crib to her with a scratch on her facedoesn't exactly create fear. The means by which the baby inflicts itsreign of chubby terror on the cast is daft, nonsensical and entirelyunscary. Except perhaps for the workman who gets a mouse put in his cupof tea because that was about the only act of terror that the childcould conceivably achieve on its own. Especially silly is thesuggestion that it keeps clawing people, since its tiny fingers areshown several times and its quite clear it has normal little fingerswith no claws just tiny baby fingernails. There are more treats though,especially for anyone who lives in London where it is set. Thecuriosity value of seeing police on the streets, working telephoneboxes, parking spaces and other symbols of the past might just beenough to keep you watching. I was also fascinated by Joans non-actingfriend who seems unable to utter a single line without gesturing wildlyand adding "darling" to it. In the finale an exorcism is performed bythe husbands sister who happens to be a penguin (nun) however she seemsto have forgotten several ingredients. A book, bell, candle, feasiblelatin and a priest would surely have helped. Luckily this doesn't seemto be a problem, even Satan seems keen to be out of the film, and allends well. Unfortunately you may be thinking that this is a watchableif naff horror film but I've neglected to mention the bits that willput any sane viewer off. A good portion of the film has the same loudsound effect of a baby screaming and crying through it, rendering itextremely irritating. I personally ended up with a thumping headacheafter forcing myself to watch it to the bitter end. Added to this everysound effect, especially telephones, make twice as much noise as theyshould causing you to constantly adjust the sound. To cap it all thetitle doesn't even make sense and has no relevance to the storypresented. Unless seeing Joan Collins groped by a dwalf is high on yourmust-see list then this film offers nothing other than a headache and alaugh at some totally inept scripting and a nun with all the Italianauthenticity of the Mario brothers.
The Devil Within Her
The Devil Within Her
A woman gives birth to a baby, but this is no ordinary little tyke. The child is seemingly possessed by the spirit of a freak dwarf who the mother once spurned. Cue a spate of strange deaths, the one common factor being the presence of a baby in pram at the scene...
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